I watched the clock all morning as the minutes ticked down. Today was chemo drip disconnection day, and I could not wait to be free of this device. For a week I've been carting it around with me everywhere I go. I unplug it and cart it into the bathroom with me every time I need to pee. When I do my laps around the halls, I push it around with one arm trying to keep it from swirling around uncontrollably. Finally, just after 1:30, nurse Eunice freed me from Dmitry.
I promptly took a shower. For the first time in a week I didn't need to cut my left sleeve strap and reattach it with a safety pin to put a shirt on. Things are looking up.
The bad part now of course is the neutropenia. I'm basically like a newborn baby with no immunity, and the thought of walking around through this hospital and outside gives me the willies. Going downstairs for my eye exam a couple days ago was pretty taxing. It was cold down there, there were lots of people with cooties, and I felt very far from my warm cozy womb up on the 5th floor. By the time I was getting wheeled back, I was covered in white blankets, a mask to keep out germs, and a visor for my dilated eyes. I felt like an injured, helpless animal.
Good thing there are places for us injured, helpless animals.
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| Eunice and Dmitry |
The bad part now of course is the neutropenia. I'm basically like a newborn baby with no immunity, and the thought of walking around through this hospital and outside gives me the willies. Going downstairs for my eye exam a couple days ago was pretty taxing. It was cold down there, there were lots of people with cooties, and I felt very far from my warm cozy womb up on the 5th floor. By the time I was getting wheeled back, I was covered in white blankets, a mask to keep out germs, and a visor for my dilated eyes. I felt like an injured, helpless animal.
Good thing there are places for us injured, helpless animals.
It's good in a weird way that you think of the 5th floor of the hospital as a "womb." I guess you've settled in a bit. Also good that they are taking care of you.
ReplyDeleteHi, Sarah! It's also Sarah, Elizabeth's friend in Boston :) I'm so sorry you are dealing with this right now! I had Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma not that long ago (~5 years) and I can relate to some of the things you are going through now. I remember wheeling that tippy IV pole down the halls and holding the lines up in the air in the bathroom...ugh! I have two cats and I work at a veterinary practice so I'll post cute pictures if you'd like! :) Ask me questions if it helps...every cancer patient has a different experience, but the IV pole, gross hospital fare, and arm bruises are standard issue :( Thinking of you! xo Sarah
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