Skip to main content

Shit storm

I couldn't decide whether to call this post shit storm or crap shoot. Either one works I guess. I know you've all been waiting for this one. I've been talking about my pee so much, I'm sure you've been wondering about the other bodily fluids. Well, you've waited long enough. Long enough for all those laxatives to kick in. Hard.

Brent got the brunt of my farts yesterday, but he was here while they were still almost cute. Like, if you think someone's cute and they have a little gas, it's kind of cute gas. At least, That's my take.

But last night going to bed I opted to skip my sleep aid because my heart rate felt so low, blipping into the 30s. And my stomach was cramping hard from the senna and the miralax and whatever else I've been handed. So around 3am I asked my nurse Travis for some chicken broth, and that seemed to push past the cramped spot and turn into a nice little colon jacuzzi. I had two more cups, and was feeling better.

And then I completely destroyed my pee hat. And later, two pairs of underwear.

Travis is a retired jarhead. He was up for E-9 at the end of his 20 year career in the Marine Corps. He recently got back from an ironman triathlon in Quebec. I have a ton of respect for people like him, and just pains me to have to press my call button and say "hey, Travis, I uh...found a bowl of lentil soup in my underwear. I put it in the trash but, what do I do now?"

It's odd to think that you could be standing at attention for someone in the service, and later be asking them to clean up your bodily fluids.

Next time you get the chance to appreciate a nurse, I recommend you do so vigorously.


Comments

  1. Sounds like my experience with soylent

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nothing but respect, what a humbling experience? I've been there Sarah, hang in for the ride.

    ReplyDelete
  3. From Elizabeth J: Poo posts are the best. Keep them coming.

    ReplyDelete
  4. you KNOW I love shit stories. I can also relate to "lentil soup underwear"...c-diff left me with that a number of times...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shitting myself in solidarity. I wish I were joking. Hugs, hon.

    ReplyDelete
  6. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/toot

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Nearly Final Farewell from Sarah's Parents

Dear Friends - We are deeply saddened that Sarah has entered the ending chapter of her battle with this horrific cancer. The medical experts expect only days left to live. It would really lift her spirits to read about memories you've shared with her and any other comments that you would like to offer. We look forward to hearing from you very soon, and we will read all comments out loud to her. Sarah is doing her best to be her usual spirited self in spite of these difficult times. We are grateful for everyone who has been a part of her remarkable life. Sarah's Mom and Dad

Guinea Pig

Today is day 4 of my first, and hopefully last, clinical trial. It's the first day I haven't had an appointment at the Sarah Cannon Colorado Blood Cancer Institute. I think it might be good luck that the institute and I share the same first name. CBCI is attached to Presbyterian St. Luke's, just a stone's throw from Denver's city park, where you would find the zoo and the museum of nature and science. Brent and I keep saying we'll go to the planetarium one of these days before or after one of my appointments, but it hasn't happened yet. The first day of the trial was long, over 12 hours. It started with an icy drive in, followed by a few unsuccessful attempts to draw my blood before resorting to another picc line. I then met with Dr. Maris, who gave me news I should have been expecting. The results of my testing from the previous week were in, and they didn't look awesome. My bone marrow biopsy showed that the leukemia was back up to 30%. Since my las...

Sarah Lobser - January 23rd 1980 - April 26th 2018

This is a link to a shared photo gallery, please add your own! https://photos.app.goo.gl/9VvG4uLed9lvU6o62 Sarah Lobser passed away peacefully in the evening surrounded by friends and loved ones after a multi-day celebration with many happy moments. Her sense of humor shone through to the very end and her life and spirit will continue to be an inspiration. Sarah gave us the gift of bringing all of us together. All of your comments on this blog kept her spirits up through this long, difficult time. If you are so inclined to help others in need, please sign up to be a bone marrow donor or donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and of course, add your photos to the shared gallery. Much Love, The Lobsers