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Headaches and hemorrhoids

If you're reading this one, then I'll just assume you'd like to know about my headaches and hemorrhoids. I won't censor myself, but I can do my best to disclaim.

I'd been asking to see a Neurologist since before my diagnosis. My headaches seemed mysterious. They weren't like anything I've had before. They were sudden, pounding, worse when I moved my head, and made me feel nauseous sometimes. The Hem/Onc team thought my headaches could very well be attributed to the leukemia, but two lumbar punctures later and they can pretty much confirm the cancer hasn't spread to my CNS. They acknowledged that the headaches could be completely unrelated. When I didn't have a headache for about a week while I was here, I stopped worrying about it. But when they came back, I started worrying about it again.

The Neurology team came by yesterday, on three separate occasions. First a couple medical students. Then the medical students were accompanied by their resident. Then they all came back with the attending. Each time, they did nearly the same examination and asked some of the same questions. I've always passed every neurological exam with flying colors, and this was no exception. I have excellent neurologicals. Their assessment was that the headaches I had before, the ones that originally brought me to the hospital, are not the same headaches I'm getting now.

I read that blasts are larger than mature blood cells. The resident explained that having these blasts in the blood makes the blood more viscous, so blood could have a harder time draining from the head. That would explain the feeling that my brain is too big for my skull. I believe that my dehydration after my long hike probably combined with the viscous blood to create a perfect headache storm. Ibuprofen thins the blood, so it makes sense that it was so effective for these particular headaches.

Now that I presumably don't have those blasts in my blood, the headaches I'm getting now can be attributed to the various drugs I'm taking. Flagyl, for example, is apparently very headache provoking. I have been put on this broad spectrum antibiotic twice now since getting off chemo. I've also been taking Posaconazole every day to prevent fungal infections. This is the other headache culprit contender. However, I haven't had a headache since yesterday, and that was around the time I stopped the last round of Flagyl. So.....I'm hopeful that I've found the source of my consternation. Don't get sick enough to have to take Flagyl is, I guess, the moral of this story?

Now on to hemorrhoids. I won't say much (sorry to disappoint you if you were really interested in the hemorrhoids). I will say though that if you've been on chemo, and your guts are destroyed, and your poop is coming out like clay pellets and moving at a glacial pace, and your painful hemorrhoid makes it difficult to get anything out of there, there are a couple techniques that worked for me. For one, I learned that pooping standing up is not just possible, but sometimes more comfortable. I'm not talking about squatting, which is also very beneficial. I'm talking about standing. Like an elk. Also, sometimes a little massage works wonders. If you take a finger or two and press just medial to the ischial tuberosity (sits bones), left, then right, then left, etc., you can save yourself a lot of straining. Just don't go too medial. You don't need to touch the output.

I hope this has been educational for at least one of you. Or maybe everyone is way ahead of me in pooping technique. What's your favorite?


Comments

  1. You're spot on with "don't get sick enough for Flagyl"; that stuff is no joke - took 2 doses 3 weeks ago and still having spasms. May this be your last round of it! My preffered pooping technique involves a trowel, a forest, and some soft lichen, and I hope you get to try it soon.

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  2. I had some opioid poops that were exactly like giving birth. I have preserved the skeletons and gall bladders of the offending alien anal mutants. I still sing them to sleep sometimes.

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  3. I always poop like an elk. I thought that was how everyone did it. First I bugle, then fight another elk with my antlers, then I poop. Every morning. It's invigorating.

    (and I am sad to hear of your headaches. What a drag... I don't know if it is helpful to hear others' medical stories, but I had viral meningitis once and nobody could accurately diagnose me. The first place I went just gave me a pregnancy test then sent me on my way. Stupid jerks. The only thing that helped was when I got some sweet sweet morphine. But then I couldn't poop! True story)

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  4. My little boy Timo likes to poop while standing - usually in his underwear...... maybe it is more comfortable and that's why he doesn't want to STOP! LOL!

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