Moving target

Friday night I got the chills. Shivering, teeth clattering, I asked for a warming blanket. Then another. Pretty soon I was bundled up under half a dozen blankets that came straight from the warmer. In an already warm room. My fever spiked to 102.5, but by then the doctor on call had been notified, antibiotics had been ordered, and I was hooked up to Dmitry once again. My temperature was back to normal after the first dose of antibiotics, and I threw those blankets on the floor, but the following day came with a slew of diagnostic tests. I had another set of blood cultures, with 40cc of blood taken out of me through a slightly larger than normal needle. I peed in a cup. A fancy machine was wheeled into my room and pointed at my chest for an X-ray.

I get it. I get why I'm in the hospital now. Every day is different. Every day doctors are adjusting my treatment to what my body is doing. And every day I'm adjusting to a new situation. First I'm on chemo. I can't eat. I can't sleep without help. I can't poop without help. I'm swollen. Then I'm off chemo. I get sick. I can't not poop without help. My belly is in pain. I sleep on and off throughout the day. I can barely move one day, then I'm walking to the park the next. My skin is overly sensitive one day, then itchy the next. I can't use my left arm normally one day, then my right is out of commission. I'm eating nothing but chicken broth for days, then jelly beans sound good.

And now I have hemorrhoids! These would normally seem harmless and I'd let them go away on their own, but I feel like if one of these suckers were to start bleeding that'd be a great potential source of infection. And uncontrollable bleeding. I ask the doctors how people actually die from AML. Do they die from the cancer? Or do they die from the treatment? Dr. Bowles told me a lot of people die from secondary infection, like pneumonia. I really wouldn't want to die from an infected hemorrhoid. That would be a very unsatisfying end to this blog.

I wish it were true

This is more like it

Elizabeth and David have been in town this weekend, and that's been a good distraction. From hemorrhoids and everything else. They wear masks, and constantly disinfect their hands and everything they touch. We attached my iPad to the infinitely manipulatable tv with Coban and watched Kung Fury, which I can now highly recommend.

Elizabeth's family brought me personalized sheets

Sorry David and Elizabeth, for mentioning you in a post in which I also talk about hemorrhoids. I even talk about hemorrhoids first. But that doesn't make you less important than hemorrhoids. Nothing is less important than hemorrhoids.